oh well, it's a new beginning..

pamamaalam...sana mabasa nya ang blog n ito. :-)

kaibigan, 

ayokong mawalan ng kaibigan

nais ko sana ikaw ay makasama at makapagpaalam sa iyo ng personal.

sa ngayon gumugulo sa aking isipan kung ano nga ba ang mga katagang dapat kong isambit, lalo na sa mga tanong mong humihingi ng kaagarang kasagutan. 

nararandaman kong marming kaguluhan sa iyong kaisipan at minabuti ko munang tumahik upang sa'yo ay di na makaabala.

hanggang ngayon hinihintay ko pa ang...

(paumanhin sa mga nagbabasa, dahil sa sensitibo ng situation ngaun ay kasalukuyan di muna nakapost ang huling bahagi)

Love and friendship are both weird. a very very weird... super weird... super duper weird!!!!

pag gunita sa pag aapply kay accenture

naalala ko nung mga panahong nagsisimula kaming maghanap ng trabaho. kakatapos lang ng thesis pero nagpaplano na kaming maghanap ng work at ang accenture ang nasa first list namin.

nagplano kami ng maigi kung ano ang mga dapat gawin. nagreview at nagbasa ng mga tips sa pag aapply at pag iinterview. naka set ng lahat, lumuwas kaming tatlo ni na lorie at ybeth.

wala pa kaming budget nung mga panahong yun kaya super tipid ang ginawa namin. sa makati ang una naming destination. nakakaba ang exam at ang paghintay ng result. sa sobrang kaba ay nanginig talaga ang kamay at panga ko. gusto ko na talaga kasing magkatrabaho after ng graduation.

ayun pinalad naman at natanggap kami ni ybeth. inde pa ko na interview kasi kelangan pang graduated na. graduation day, may nareceive akong call at schedule ng interview ko kinabukasan. pinagpala at nakapasa ako.  

vanita sa panginip.

vanita sa panaginip

nakakatuwang isipin nung nakaraang linggo e nagawa kitang mapanaginipan. ayun lumuluha ulit ako. pagkagising ko kahit ako nagtataka kung bakit. ang tinatanong ko sa sarili kung bakit nga ba. dahil ba sa di ko man lang nasabi sayo ang laman ng damdamin ko. pinagsisihan ko ba ngayon ang di ko nagawang sabihin sayo ang totoong nadarama?

mahal kita o minahal kita. ang pag-ibig ko sayo ay isang trahedya. minahal kita dati yun ang totoo o yun ang gusto kong tanggapin na katotohanan. malabo na mag usbong ang pag-iibigan sa atin. isang bagay lang ang malinaw, sa pitong taon pangalan mo ang naging password ko, sa pitong taon naging laman ka ng puso ko, sa pitong taon na inspire ako sayo at marami pa.

my ngiti pa rin sa labi ko pag naalala ko ang damdamin ko sayo. isang napakagandang alaala.

masaya ako para sa'yo vanita.. ay mali Ruffa Vanni pala, ah hindi VANITA, tama vanita ang pangalan ang ibinigay ko sayo at ako lang ang may karapatan tumawag sa'yo nun. masaya ako at nasa relationship ka na. masaya ako para sa'yo. masaya na naman tayo sa mga buhay buhay natin kaya tuloy pa rin ang buhay.

sa susunod.. sana magkwentuhan at magtawanan naman tayo minsan, at sana tears of joy naman yun 

hanggang sa muli vanita.... hanggang sa muli sa dati kong pag-ibig, PAALAM..

The Batangas getaway. "Eve and Edryan's bday celebration."

Balai Laiya, San Juan, Batangas. November 13-24, 2010.

My first time in Batangas. Thanks to the SOC pipz for making me a guest of the event.

a dance of goodbye

The music has changed. The DJ replace the loud music into a sweet love song. 

I was caught alone, standing in the middle of the crowd of pairs. I was walking to get out of the dance floor when someone familiar is in my way. She gives me a smile and I smile back. I was going to pass to her when she suddenly holds my hand and said "wait hugo."

She's holding my hand so tight. She began to put my hands on her hips and place her hand in my shoulder. I'm puzzled that time because months ago we had a quarrel and after that day we never been in good terms.

A while I realized we're already dancing in a song that we used to sing. I was looking at her eyes without any miss. Her lovely eyes is melting my soul. I said "hi, I'm sorry.." she urgently said "sshh.. cut it out, I know everything..."

Hearing her words is enough to give me tears. She said "why have you done that? what's your plan?" I replied "I know I will never be in your heart as it belongs to someone else." 

She started to cry and said "after knowing my dark past, you still have your affection with me." I said "my dear, I was afraid that my emotion was already driving me to nothingness. I only care for you to be happy." She says "Mike is now again my bf. and...." I interrupted and said "oh! its the end of the song. It seems there will be a heavy rain, my friend."

She asked me this "So you still going to leave us?" I look away to the vast of people and replied "I have enough of the hard things in this place, I believe my place is not, here maybe

in some place.

She ask me again. "When will I see you again?" I said "Maybe in some other time. The song has ended, what a convenient way for me to say goodbye..."

I turned my back and low my head, as the tears is heavily flowing, "well, you take a good care of yourself, don't cry again, and finally THANK YOU."

I now walk away from the dance floor. I saw Mike and passed him, I bet he saw us. I harshly walk in my car. Then I drive my car, I'm in tears and my hands are shaking...

so it is a dance of goodbye....