my "unplanned manila adventure", a coffee chat w/ toshio

i went to nbi tay2 to get a nbi clearance. sad to say they told me to return tomorrow. it's just around 11am and still have plenty of time. so i decided to go to nbi office that i actually don't know the exact location. i've read at the mrt station the location of the said office. so i ride to the lrt 2 and change train at lrt 1. at lrt 1 i trace the victory central mall and there [UEREKA!!!] i've found it.

that adventure was really fun. it is my first time to be in those places. i saw a Chinese cemetery, located at caloocan. after of that trip i went to antipolo to meet roner.

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i discussed my business idea to roner. i asked him if i still think normal?hhehe... he agreed my ideas and his willing to be part of my team. i still need a lot of research before the launching of this business. i hope it will be launched next month.

after our business talk, we went to Seisha cafe.  i said to him my burn out and my surprise plan to a special friend (yipeee!!! i love surprises). 

i shared to him that i'm preparing myself to risk everything to tell my feelings to my special someone. 

even in my dream i cry and i feel guilty

This morning i've dreamed of vanita's visitation with madison. in my dream, they have visited me in my house. i had a chance to talk with vanita and madison. i told madison that he looks familiar. after a while madison went to the comfort room and i had a chance to talk with vanita. i said "its not your fault, its my fault. i didn't tell you everything that i must have said to you." after saying those words i began to cry. madison went back and i immediately stop. END

i don't know why but i feel some guiltiness inside of me. my heart has been shattered for many times. i feel weak and empty.  i'm so pathetic i love them but i never told them what i really feel for them. damn i feel of leaving the philippines but i still can't do that. until now i am running away to face the reality, i'm a risk taker but i can't risk everything when it comes to love.  that fear is the hindrance of my personal freedom.

i can't run away in this reality. i have prepared myself. i might feel some confusion but i need to tell her what i really feel. i know it is the best thing to do. i'm tired of lying, this time i want to give freedom and honor to myself. i pray that my God guide me and give me the right chances.